gemma stow

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Am I good enough?

Let's talk about the emotions that surround the 'Am I good enough?' feelings that we all get from time to time.  When we become mothers this can be a regular feeling that crops up and sometimes even though the thoughts are irrational and make no sense - we still sometimes feel that we aren't good enough and we are winging it.  And sometimes we have to.

It can also be known as 'Impostor Syndrome' - have you heard about it?  It is where we believe that we are not good enough at what we are doing and therefore feel we shouldn't really be there or even doing it.  

This fear can stop us doing anything or even starting.

Some people feel like they may be rubbish at parenting or bringing children into this world - so decide not to, or some first time mums feel so inadequate it can lead to postnatal depression, some mums who have younger ones running a muck feel like they can't manage the school run and absolutely dread Monday mornings, but don't tell anyone for fear of being seen as a 'crap' mum.  These feelings are always around whenever we take on new challenges.  

And yes I wing it at being a mum a lot of the time because as soon as I get used to a phase of my kids development - they move on to the next and I have to play catch up.  If I haven't done it before, then it's new territory for me too.  


This is the same for most areas in life, parenting, work, new careers, new hobbies, exercise, self care practices... All of which require you to push yourself out of the safe and cosy space called your comfort zone.  


However as the saying goes - it is a nice place to be (your comfort zone) but nothing ever grows there - and this is so true.  Think of the last time where you really pushed yourself?  Where you were feeling so nervous and excited all at the same time?  Spend a couple of minutes thinking about that time and what you learnt from it ....

I am guessing that it is something around just going for it and telling yourself about the amazing feelings you had after the event and that if you can hang onto those feelings then you could push yourself again and again - good.  

Well you can.  

You are no impostor - and Amy Cuddy talks about it in her ted talk saying 'fake it until you become it' because putting yourself out there and just doing it - is the only way you can become something you want to be.

Amy talks about the importance of body language but also impostor syndrome and that we can all feel like this, but we can work at it until we become it.  Grab a cuppa or glass of vino or whatever you fancy and check it out here.


Let me know your thoughts on this or come over and share with us in our amazing group of Fiercemums - where working mothers are supporting each other through our ups and downs.

You got this.  You are good enough.

 

FM x