20th July 2015

So we have all been there.  The build up to the goodbye, the look from your little one's eye, and then they move towards you just as you thought you could escape and there it is the leg cling!  A grip so tight no man could break it!  And that’s not the only grip going on.  For me it's the grip on my heartstrings!  

Please my darling I will return but first I need to go to work (or shopping, or swimming, the toilet or literally I just need some god damm space for a minute) but no the cling is tighter than ever!

The impact that this can have on me as a mum is huge.  The sense of guilt I feel after tearing away the arms of my gorgeous one and having to say ‘I will be back’, with them looking up at you with disbelief in their eyes, is so difficult to bare.

I cry all the way to work (well for the first five minutes until the dreaded to do list pops into my head) but I can't stop myself from telling everyone at work that I was ‘leg-clinged’ before work today, so I could at least yield some sympathy from fellow mums to make me feel better again....meanwhile, as soon as I had left, my little one is having a ball - 'mum, what mum'!

So what’s this all about and what three tips can we do to ease the 'cling' (on the leg and heart strings):

1. Remember this is a healthy reaction to separation - it's not just your little one chucking a guilt trip at you!

2.  A 'goodbye' ritual is a good starter - blowing kisses, special words etc helps the little ones get used to you leaving and then returning too!

3. Just leave and don't stop!  It can be too traumatising for mum and little one if you stall the process and this then becomes a drama for you both!

Hold onto the hope that this does ease with time and to be honest, there will come a point where your little one doesn’t even blink an eye when you leave ...now that’s another story for another day and another pull on the good old heart strings! 

FM x

photo cred https://lessthancredible.wordpress.com/