Am I an introvert and why it matters in business?

So many people say to me “ you don’t need to label people we are all different”. Of course I know this already. Having worked in the public sector in probation, and with young people with different challenging behaviour there can be nothing worse than being labelled and being put into a box that is a one size fits all scenario!

But labelling can also have it’s benefits.

For years I used to think that I didn’t measure up. Questioning myself why couldn’t I be more like ‘her’, love public speaking, oozing confidence, full of charisma, the life and soul of the party?

It’s really important in business that you figure out who you are and get really clear on what you can do, what you think you can’t do and what you really want to do.

People often tell me that people that there is no need for labelling and who cares if you’re introvert or extrovert personality, but of course it does matter as it’s all about who you are and what you like to do and enjoy to do, rather than having to always feel like you’re not good enough because you don’t do things in a certain way and that is often the case for introverts.

Business is about telling others about what you do.

You know business is about the selling, marketing, visibility, putting yourself out there and at the same time all those things can scare the hell out of introverts because it’s doesn’t always appeal to us. However the only reason it scares us is because we associate all these things with being big, loud and in your face. When they really don’t need to be.

I know a lot of introverts that are amazing at selling because they do it in a way that feels good to them. They make real connections with people, build relationships get to know their customers. You just have to find the way that works for you not against you. I’m all about you finding out what your superpowers are and using them to your advantage in your business.

Am I an introvert?

So the traditional way to decide about your personality is to do the old school personality tests. I’m sure you’ve heard of Myers Briggs and other kind of personality questionnaires that you can spend time filling in your preferences and then it will come back and tell you what kind of personality you’ve got and what your strengths and your weaknesses are and all that kind of stuff.

If you’re interested here a few links to some of the personality test that you can take to see what you’re kind of personality is and they can be quite enlightening actually and when you read things about yourself like that makes sense under things start to fall into place for you. Check out Susan Cain’s or Sixteen personalities to start with.

It might also make you realise you know where some areas in your business needs some work. You know you are the expert at what you do for work, however there are always things in business that we avoid because they just don’t feel good are they not aligned with our personality.

So I am an introvert, what now?

Well now is the exciting part you get to look at all the areas of your life and see where your strengths are and how you can play on those strengths and use them to your advantage in business. It is all about looking at the things that you’ve previously decided aren’t for you and maybe to take a new perspective on them. For example a business owner downloaded my free guide on how to network even if you are an introvert and hate talking to strangers. After that she got in touch and told me the impact that had on her networking journey. She had started to regularly attend a local event. She has now spoken at that event and won an award for her business. From telling herself that networking wasn’t her thing to actually finding the right one for her has been a massive game changer!

So why not think of three things and figure out what it is but you need to focus on more in your business to really get the results you’re after. What have you been avoiding and telling yourself it isn’t your thing? Take a new perspective on it - how can you use your strengths to make it work for you?

I couldn’t find a networking event that really worked for me - so I started my own ‘Introverts Talk Biz’ and I haven’t looked back. The feedback has been incredible. One women said it was a like ‘coming home’ and she realised she could actually enjoy networking.

Here are three things you can think about….

1. Where do your clients come from and are you actually being visible in that area? Just because it doesn’t necessarily float your boat - it might float your clients? Can you make it work?

2. Figure out what makes business fun for you? It’s all about enjoying what you do - so take stock of your business model - does it actually serve you?

3. Make sure you factor time in your diary to re-energise. If you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by going to networking events, showing up online etc you need to factor in some time alone to get your energy back. If you don’t do this you and keep pushing without time for yourself you start to become exhausted and feel negative towards your work, which could reinforce that you shouldn’t be doing the things you doing, when actually a lot of good and positive things can come from it.

When people tell you that it doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert, extrovert or someone in between, it actually really does matter and it really matters to your business and the success you want. Don’t hold back from trying different things - it might just be that you need to do things in your own way!

So maybe it’s about time you figured out what this means to you and how you can use it to your advantage. Figure out what your true strengths are and have some fun in business, it doesn’t have to be stressful and yes it will be hard work, but building a business is a rollercoaster so why not find the fun in everything you are doing instead of feeling scared or avoiding it.

Figuring out that you’re an introvert in business can be the best thing that ever happened. Let me know how you get on.

**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. Or book in a chat with her if you are looking to increase your confidence in different areas and find your inner fierce **

Why you and your business are missing out by avoiding networking events!

It is true – there is nothing that really compares to a live event. 

I have found this especially in business.  The powerful connections and life changing experiences have all started with events.  Getting to know others, being around likeminded people, having an understanding and similar purpose.

I hated events. 

Because it has not always been like that for me.  I hated events.  I hated networking events even more.

Why?  When we all know that building ‘know, like and trust’ is crucial to any business and by meeting people face to face can really speed up this process. 

Well I am a proud introvert and small talk and mingling with strangers and having to stand up and talk in front of them all within a specific time frame quite frankly does not float my boat.

So I used to avoid them – send my team to them – tell them it was for their own good to enhance their professional development and all that good stuff – when really I was hiding behind the fact that I couldn’t think of anything worse than attending these business events where you had to sell yourself – I mean that stuff is made for extroverts and egos right?

I bet I can give you five reasons why you avoid networking?

1.  Because you have to talk to strangers and make a good impression and introduce your business (and you still haven’t really got clear as clear can be on what it is you really do yet?)

2. Because it will mean taking time out of the day / evening that you could be spending working on the business (and let’s face it that’s the bit you love, that’s where the passion is at right?)

3.  You end up sat on your own (which you quite like) and smiling sheepishly at all those other delegates that have got it together and schmoozing the room like they own the god damn place looking at you with sympathetic feel sorry for you eyes.

4.  Why the hell would you pay for all of the above!

5.  You walk away without any new connections (because you only spoke to Michelle who you met last time because she works behind the bar), a goody bag full of business cards (your own included) and no further on with the results you are aiming for in your business.  No ROI (return on investment at all).

I understand I really do and don’t feel bad because we all feel like this at some point or another. 

 

Find events that are YOUR kind of events.

The trick is to find events that are your kind of events with your kind of people and this may involve attending a lot of 'frogs' to find the 'prince' of events that will give you new connections, access to new networks, referrals and recommendation opportunities.  

And that’s not because you spent the entire time selling yourself and being pushy – nope.  It is because you felt comfortable in the space to be able to help and support others in their business.  To give, not take.  That is the most important thing to remember.

 

You can be an introvert and actually get the most from business events.

You don't have to be the loudest in the room to be heard and you definitely don't have to be all about the sales to be remembered for who you are.  You have all you need already.  Listen to others, really listen and find people you are really interested in.  And ask them about their business.  And don't dread the "what do you do?" questions - go with it - someone else you get to show how passionate you are about what you do and why you do it!

 

I love nothing more than making real connections.

Well it is funny how times have changed, from hating such events, to now hosting my own. I also invest a lot in attending other's events too - ones that I know will be full of my kind of people and they always pay off.

Mine are not ordinary traditional events, but the type that are perfect for introverts like you to make real connections.  To get the most out of the investment you are putting into going in the first place – after all pjs and Netflix or a glass of vino with a good friend is also very appealing.

But networking (which in basic terms only really means interact with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts) is the cornerstone of business. 

It is so important in so many ways.  Not only for getting new customers and putting your business on the map, but also for your own support and developing relationships with people who get it and understand how tough it can be to work for yourself.

So if you are now a little convinced that actually venturing outside and attending an event or two might be something that you should think about to grow your business and your confidence then grab my free guide to get you started on the right path.   It has 5 simple steps to prepare you for your networking fun, will build your confidence and give you purpose.  Let me know how you get on!

Maybe my monthly event "Introverts Talk Biz" could be the perfect place to start - more info on the next event is here.   Time to get yourself out there and give your business the chance it deserves!

**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are introverts and are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs monthly events where Introverts Talk Business and a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief and results.  More info HERE. **

What stops you being visible online?

Being visible online can be scary.   But if you run your own business then it really can help to boost your know, like and trust factor with potential customers and therefore increase profits!

If you have been putting off getting yourself and your business out there then it is time to find your fierce and increase your visibility today!

It is pretty normal to feel scared.  Scared to put yourself out there online for your business to reach your customers.  I was scared too.

As we grow and learn there are always new parts of our lives that demand a different version of us and this can in itself bring more challenges and self doubts.

It was July 2015 that I posted my very first blog online.  I had no idea what I was doing.  But I did it anyway, and guess what.. I didn’t tell anyone.

It was online, yes - but it took me about 3 months to actually share it and then I hid behind another name.

I hid behind the name 'Fiercemum' and nobody, apart for my nearest and dearest knew about it - that was the start of something special - but only because I decided it would be.  

As a introvert this was a very difficult thing for me to do.  I like being behind the scenes and letting others take the limelight...but I knew that this time I had to do things differently.  I had to dig deep to find the confidence and strength to push those doubts I had about myself to one side, so I could step out of the shadows and help others to do the same - to be fierce in all areas of their lives. 

You know those doubts – ones like …

“I am not good enough”

“Who am I to think I can do this”

“What will others think of me”

“I don’t know enough and don’t have what it takes”

And it is not easy to silence those doubts – but with courage and paying attention to yourself and those thoughts, it can be done.

I have and it feels great.  I now have a great online business which means I can work from anywhere - which is all I have ever wanted; freedom and flexibility to do what I want, when I want, so that it suits my family and me.  And with my business means I get to work with ambitious women who also want the same thing too!  To make a difference and make money.

It all came from showing up.  From getting the 'ladyballs' to do what I believed in.  To be persistent even when I thought there was no point.  To get visible and show others what I stand for and what I can do to help them too.

I kept going. 

Because when you start the visibility dance you keep dancing and don’t stop.

Stopping means checking out what others are doing, or worrying about who is watching and not dancing with you, overthinking your own dance moves, instead of just enjoying your time on the dance floor and making YOUR dance up as you go.

Well you can have this too.

This is what I am all about - empowering women who work for themselves (or want to) to feel fierce about who they are and what they stand for and to have the confidence to go shout about it.  Not for them but for those people they want to reach.

So if this is what you want them connect with me over in my free group The F Movement for female entrepreneurs or book in a call with me today and let's chat about what you need that will make the difference between no one knowing about you and your business, to all those potential customers who want to get to know you better!

Just think how AWESOME it'll be when you can stop feeling overwhelmed, confused and hiding - to be super clear, confident and excited about taking that all important fierce action and being seen for who you really are!

No more hiding – much more dancing!

Gx

**Gemma Stow works with female entrepreneurs who are ready to take themselves and their business to the next level.  To find their fierce and take that all important action.  As well as private coaching, she runs a membership called Club Fierce that gives that personal touch to women who are looking for support, accountability and an environment that breeds self belief.  More info HERE. **

#Stop Comparing Yours to Theirs.

Comparison is the thief of joy.  That's what they say - what do you think?

I can really understand this statement and it can be very overwhelming when you start to compare yourself to others and the impact that this can have on how you truly feel about yourself.

I did a #FierceTalk was on this very subject - if you missed it check it out.

Comparing where you are right now with someone else in a negative way is not good for you.  Especially when you use it to find faults with yourself.

The problem is that you don't recognise your own strengths and beauty as you are far too busy comparing yourself to others.

You start to feel undeserving, inadequate and inexperienced.  Who am I to do this? I don't have what she has? I am not good enough who will listen to me?

Do you find you do this?  We all do it at times and it can be detrimental to our self esteem.  If this becomes a habit then we start to lose confidence in our own abilities and the pressure and overwhelm creeps in and we stop moving forwards - we give up, we think what's the point?

Social media has only served to increase these feelings if we allow it to.  Do you know what I mean? Watching someone else's movie reel and all their highlights about what they are up to!  The thing to remember is that it is only their highlights - not everyone would have the lady balls to show up and show off their down days - those moments where everything has gone to shit.  It isn't easy sharing this with the world because of the fear of being judged - what will they think of me if I do show up and I haven't got my shit together?

Constant comparing of this nature will not end well.

Constantly comparing yourself to others in a negative way can lead to depression and anxiety because you ultimately tell yourself you have a shit life because it is not like those other people's lives you see on your phone.  Now there is a sentence I wouldn't have thought I would write - but it is so true.  We have all been there and I know you have too.

Well it is time to stop.  

You have an incredible life and can use it to inspire others.

Firstly you cannot compare your chapter 1 to somebody else's chapter 20.  It just doesn't work like that.  Of course there will be differences, of course they will have experienced more things, and you will too as you create more chapters in your life.  

Secondly, at least you have a chapter 1 right?  There will be others comparing themselves to you too - only thinking about starting to follow their dreams, but are too scared to show up yet.  They don't even have a chapter and will look to you and be amazed by how you did it.

I was watching my 8 year old daughter in her dance class last night.  I love seeing her dance and the passion she has.  She shows determination and commitment and never misses a class.  

She does get concerned about how far the other girls have got and how they can do this move and that move and she can't.  But what was interesting last night was that another little girl was asked to do the finale move - an amazing cartwheel without hands - which she was brilliant at but only on soft mats.  

The tutor wanted her to practice it on the hard floor ready for the real competition.  Se was scared to do it.  She cried.  Her dance class buddies were all staring at her, and then out of nowhere, they started clapping - it gives me goosebumps to relive it to be honest.  

It was amazing to watch.  Her girls had her back.  She knew it.  And she bloody did it.  And yes all the girls were probably thinking they wish they could do that move (I know my daughter was) but they didn't sit there feeling negative towards their team mate - they encouraged her to be the best version of herself, to push her out of that comfort zone, to do the thing she really wanted to do, because that is what is needed in these times where we think we can't go on.  

We need encouragement.  Which by definition is the action of giving someone support, confidence and hope.

And all those other girls who did the encouraging will feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that when their time comes they will have a huge team of other girls who will encourage them to do the same.  It's bloody inspirational and it is what I am all about.

Watching that unravel last night brought me to tears because it kinda sums up everything I stand for.  
 

Women having each other's back.  

So yes you may feel that someone is better than you and maybe they are further on their journey - but remember they were once where you are right now, and there are others who are only dreaming of being where you are.  

It is time to stop the negative comparison BS.

And instead start using comparison to your advantage.  Truly believe that if she can do it then it is possible for you too.  

Don't forget that.  

If someone is paving the way for you then this is a great thing, as it means that you can run along that path knowing full well what will be at the end of it.
 

Her success is definitely not your failure - it is only your beginning.

FM x

If you have not yet joined our amazing group of Fiercemums then come on over. 

And if you are ready to figure out what you really want and to discover that passion you can turn into work you love then grab my free gift here.

#No Excuses

Did you catch my Facebook live on this?  

I had been doing some reflection and thinking about the things I hear from women I speak to both in my business and friends and family.  A common theme is that we don't have the time to do what we really want to do because we are too busy raising a family.  Does this sound familiar ?

It is true - the struggle is real and the balancing act is tough - working and raising your family can feel relentless at times - but it can also feel exhilarating.

Don't get me wrong I have those days too where it all feels like too much and I wonder what the flip am I trying to do here - but then I remember the real deep down reasons of what I do it for and it all makes sense again.

If you are doing work you love then this comes easier than if you are in work that does not light you up anymore.  And the thing is - we are women - and once we have decided that we don't like something the way it is we can't stop thinking about it.  If this is in a negative way then it can be all consuming and can lead to you feeling down and depressed.  

I am on a mission for ambitious women who love to work, to be doing the thing that lights them up.  After all if we are trading time away from our little ones then it surely has to be what we love to do?

How are you feeling about work?  If it isn't floating your boat anymore and there is something you would prefer to be doing then now is the time to do something about it #noexcuses.  

Maybe you know you need to step out of your comfort zone to be able to achieve the thing you want to achieve - but instead you are finding any excuse not too?

Yeah the best excuse is not having enough time because you are a working mum.  I know sounds harsh but is it the truth?

Time to get honest with yourself - is that the real reason or is there something else - maybe something around worrying about what others will think about you for stepping up and putting yourself out there? Maybe focusing all your time and attention on your family has totally knocked your confidence? Or just maybe you don't think anyone will care or listen to you because you are not good enough or you need something on paper to say you can do it before you start?  

BS. 

Listen, whatever your big idea, whatever your service, skills, expertise or products you have that you want to share with the world, whatever problem you can solve for others - how the hell is anyone going to come get it if you don't put yourself out there consistently?  There are others needing you right now and they can't find you because you say you don't have the time to do more.

BS.

I say that if you want something enough then you will find the time.  If there is something else getting in your way - then dig deep, figure it out and push past it.

You've got this  - now go bloody do it.

#noexcuses

FM
x

If you have not yet joined our amazing group of Fiercemums then come on over. 

And if you are ready to figure out what you really want and to discover that passion you can turn into work you love then grab my free gift here.

#Find the Confidence.

So do you consider yourself to be a confident person ...depends on what you are doing?  Yeah me too.
 

We are all confident in some things and less so in others.  It is only natural.  The key is to figure out what you don't feel as confident in and face that fear.

This is a big deal for us mums as having babies and starting a family can sometimes knock your confidence.  Spending so much time being obsessed with everything baby while you are pregnant and then obsessed with everything new mum and baby after your little bundle of joy arrives is a whole life change to adjust too.  Having time off from your normal work and social circles can really take its toll on your self confidence.  

For me it was such a shock and a massive learning curve becoming a mum that I doubted myself straight away.  I didn't think I was cut out to be a 'good enough' mum and I know this can happen to so many like minded professional women who are so used to being control of their own lives, and then your little bundle of joy throws all that out of the window.  It can be a scary time.  The unknown.  But then that is true for most things we are unsure about.

If you haven't done something before then your primal brain starts telling you to be fearful and on alert as this could hurt you.  

You decide to fight, flight or freeze.  If you decide to fight and do it anyway and don't get hurt, your brain gets the message that 'ok I didn't die so maybe this isn't as dangerous or scary as I first thought' - the more you do it, the more you grow in confidence.

Taking action is the best way to reduce your fear.

Are there times that you can think of << Test First Name >> where you have felt like this or experienced something similar?  I have lots.  And I know the women I work with are often trapped by fears that they don't even know exist.  I was for years until I decided to figure myself out.

I have been live on my Facebook Business page every evening to share a tip to give yourself that boost of confidence when you need it.  If you have missed them go take a look and let me know what you think.  

I would love you to share any thoughts or experiences on growing our confidence in our amazing group of supportive ambitious mums.

Remember - If you can dream it then you can do it.  Anything is possible.

You've totally got this.

Love FM
x